The Soundtrack of A

This is a work in progress as the relationship develops…

Started off:
Arms – Christina Perri

Where I hoped it was going:
Congratulations – Blue October
Still falling for you – Ellie Goulding

Now?????:
It’s all your fault – Pink
Without a word – Birdy

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Bitch FM – Music To Get Over That Asshole

After bawling your eyes out to Sad FM, you are now ready for Bitch FM.

When you get over the initial knife-to-the-heart feeling and reality starts to set back in, Bitch FM is there for you to regain your power. We will not be defeated by bad men and stick insects (of whatever nationality).

So, in no particular order (although my favourites are closer to the top), I give you Bitch FM.

Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood

Bitch – Stephen Lynch

Narcissus – Alanis Morissette

Beware Of The Dog – Jamelia

Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar

What About Me – Cascada

U + Ur Hand – P!nk

Heartbreak Down [Explicit Version] – P!nk

How Come You’re Not Here? – P!nk

Blow me (one last kiss) – P!nk

F*ckin Perfect – P!nk

Titanium – David Guetta (feat. Sia)

Bulletproof – La Roux

Fighter – Christina Aguilera

Bust Your Windows – Glee Cast

Survivor / I Will Survive – Glee Cast

Gives You Hell – Glee Cast

Shake It Out – Florence + The Machine

I’m Not Calling You A Liar – Florence + The Machine

Outta My Head – Leona Lewis

Holding Out For A Hero – (I like the Shrek version with Jennifer Saunders)

You Thought Wrong – Kelly Clarkson (feat. Tamyra Gray)

Poison – Alice Cooper

Lying – Amy Meredith

Karma (Reggaeton Remix) – Alicia Keys

Straitjacket – Alanis Morissette

Right Through You – Alanis Morissette

Precious Illusions – Alanis Morissette

Give a little respect – Erasure

Respect – Aretha Franklin

Think – Aretha Franklin

Irreplaceable – Beyoncé

Best Thing I Never Had – Beyoncé

Single Ladies – Beyoncé

Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

I’m Not Missing You – Stacie Orrico

Song For the Dumped – Ben Folds Five

When The Going Gets Tough – Billy Ocean

You Give Love A Bad Name – Bon Jovi

It ‘s My Life – Bon Jovi

Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift

Life’s A Bitch – Shooter

Go to Hell – Milk Inc

Bitch – Meredith Brooks

I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan

Independent Women – Destiny’s Child

Hunter – Dido

According To You – Orianthi

This Is Who I Am – Vanessa Amorosi

Predictable – Delta Goodrem

F.U. Right Back (Explicit) – Frankee

Hot N Cold (Jason Nevins Remix) – Katy Perry

Chewing Gum – Annie

B.I.T.C.H – Jamelia

SadFM – Music For A Broken Heart

Music is incredible. It has the power to evoke emotions, amplify them, or even change them.

Sometimes when you’ve had your heart ripped out, all you want to do is sob the pain into your pillow until your face hurts (you should only do this if you don’t need to go anywhere the next day; the puffy-cry-face look isn’t easy to cover up). The up-side of this is that it can be easier to move on once you bawl it out.

So here is my UBER SadFM playlist.

I will be adding to it as I go through my iTunes and find new songs, but feel free to make any suggestions. In no particular order, I’ll give you my top 25 songs, and then a whole bunch of others, especially by artists that appear in my top 25 (and, yes, I have repeated the 25 in the big list). I’ve tried to pick a range of genres and eras.

Note: When you are not in the cry-yourself-to-sleep-in-a-self-pitying-ball mood, some of these songs won’t be nearly as powerful.

If you are feeling really low, this playlist should be used with care. Don’t dig yourself deeper. Head over to my BitchFM playlist (to be posted in the near future).

~~

TOP 25
1. Not As We – Alanis Morissette
2. Wanted You More – Lady Antebellum
3. Farewell – Rosie Thomas
4. Another lonely day – Ben Harper / Pearl Jam acoustic
5. Over you – Gabrielle
6. Collide – Howie Day
7. Don’t forget me – Way Out West
8. I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
9. What Hurts the Most – Cascada (Yanou’s candlelight remix) / Rascal Flatts
10. Sad Song – Taylor Swift
11. Jar of hearts – Christina Perri
12. I Don’t Believe You – Pink
13. Stay – Michelle Featherstone
14. Heartless – Sally Chatfield
15. Have You Ever? – Brandy
16. Forgive me – Evanescence
17. Get it right – Glee cast
18. My skin – Natalie Merchant
19. Rain – Patty Griffin
20. Nobody Knows – Babyface / Tony Rich Project
21. Stupid – Sarah McLachlan
22. Alive – Leona Lewis
23. I Can’t Break It To My Heart – Delta Goodrem
24. All Good Things (Come To An End) – Nellie Furtado
25. Turning Tables – Adele

Honorary mention: A Girl Crush – Little Big Town
~~

Lady Antebellum
– Cold As Stone
– Wanted You More
– As You Turn Away

Gabrielle
– If You Really Cared
– Should I Stay
– Out of Reach
– If I Walked Away
– Tell Me What You Dream
– Over You

Alanis Morissette
– Sorry To Myself
– Offer
– Simple Together
– Not As We
– Tapes
– Flinch

Taylor Swift
– White Horses
– Sad song
– Cold As You
– Breathe (feat. Colbie Caillat)
– Come In With The Rain
– You’re Not Sorry
– Back To December

Cascada (Yanou’s Candlelight Mix)
– Draw The Line
– Every Time We Touch
– What Hurts The Most

Leona Lewis
– Can’t Breathe
– My Hands
– Broken
– Naked
– Alive
– Stone Hearts and Hand Grenades (w. One Republic)
– Without You (Mariah Carey cover)

Jewel
– Foolish Games
– Near You Always
– You Were Meant For Me
– Don’t
– Deep Water
– Hands
– Down So Long
– Break Me
– Grey Matter
– Fragile Heart

Glee Cast
– Need You Now (Lady Antebellum)
– Get It Right

P!nk
– Please Don’t Leave Me
– I Don’t Believe You
– Whattaya Want From Me (also by Adam Lambert)
– Glitter in the Air (*This is more of a love song, but if you’ve had this, or almost had this, and lost it, it’ll make you cry).

Adele
– Turning Tables
– Someone Like You

Rosie Thomas
– It Don’t Matter to the Sun
– Let Myself Fall
– Gradually
– Farewell

Bonnie Raitt
– I Can’t Make You Love Me
– Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough

Delta Goodrem
– I Can’t Break It To My Heart
– Lost Without You

Glen Hansard
– All The Way Down (Once soundtrack feat. Markéta Irglová)
– Lies (Once soundtrack feat. Markéta Irglová)
– Everytime (Britney Spears cover)

Knock You Down – Keri Hilson

Grenade – Bruno Mars

I Wish I Didn’t Miss You – Angie Stone

Mr. Lonely – Akon

So Sick of Love Songs – Ne-Yo

Jolene – Dolly Parton

Scratch – Kendall Payne

They Weren’t There – Missy Higgins

Unlike Me – Kate Havenvik

Wish We Never Met – Kathleen Wilhoite

All Cried Out Over You – Aaliyah

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart – Al Green

Ain’t No Sunshine – Al Jarreau / Bill Withers / Lighthouse Family

Leave Out All The Rest – Linkin Park

Cup Of Coffee – Garbage

Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye Feat. Kimbra

25 Minutes Too Late – Michael Learns to Rock

Light at the End of the Tunnel – Something for Kate

It Must Have Been Love – Roxette

Leanne Rhymes
– Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way
– How Do I Live (cover)

It Makes No Difference – The Band

The Scientist – Coldplay

All Out of Love – Air Supply

Scarlet – Brook Fraser

Nine Crimes – Damien Rice

Strawberry Wine – Deanna Carter

Clean Getaway – Maria Taylor

All By Myself – Jamie O’Neal

Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

Free of Me – Joshua Radin

4 In The Morning – Gwen Stefani

The Lover After Me – Savage Garden

Broken – Seether feat. Amy Lee

Breathe Me – Sia

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want – The Smiths

Apologize – One Republic

Clean Getaway – Maria Taylor

I Don’t Wanna Know – Mario Winans Ft. P. Diddy

Breathe – Melissa Etheridge

Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.

Unbreak My Heart – Toni Braxton

Unfaithful – Rihanna

Too Lost In You – Sugababes

I miss you – Sweetbox

Here Without You – Three Doors Down

Amy Winehouse
– Tears Dry On Their Own
– Back to Black

Phil Collins
– I Wish It Would Rain Down
– Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories
– Alone
– How
– Stay

Nelly
– Just A Dream
– Over And Over (Feat. Tim McGraw)

Matchbox 20
– The Difference
– Kody

James Blunt
– Goodbye My Lover
– Tears And Rain
– Cry

Brian McKnight
– Do I ever cross your mind?
– Losing you
– One Last Cry

Michelle Featherstone
– Hello, I Need You
– Coffee and Cigarettes
– Stay

Natalie Merchant
– My Skin
– Carnival

Natalie Walker
– Quicksand
– Waking Dream
– Circles

Evanescence
– My immortal
– Forgive me

Brandy
– Have You Ever?
– Almost Doesn’t Count

Alesha Dixon
– Breathe Slow (*This is actually more a love song, but can still be a tear-jerker)
– Do You Know The Way It Feels
– Can I Begin

Jason Derulo
– Blind
– Fairytale

Aimee Man
– It’s Not Gonna Stop
– You Do
– Wise Up

Backstreet Boys
– Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely
– Incomplete

Just A Thought….

How is it that someone can get under your skin… touch you deeply… make you incredibly happy… so you have plans and dreams for the future… you can see the possibilities… things you have been waiting for…

and things end suddenly, without explanation, leaving you broken… with endless questions… analysing everything to figure out what you missed… and they seem unaffected… you find out that they are moving on to the next person without a second thought.

Did they not feel what you felt? Did they not dream what you dreamt? Did they not feel joy when you laughed together? How can there be such a disconnect? How could what you shared have so little impact on them… mean so little… leave so little trace?

I don’t understand….

He’s Not Worth Your Tears

I hear this a lot from well-intentioned friends – certainly it’s something of a cliche that I myself have employed. I tend to process intense emotion (especially when I’m flung between emotional extremes – I’ve even cried when I’ve been flung from sadness to happiness) through tears (don’t most women?), so any sort of heart ache goes hand in hand with crying.

It struck me tonight that my tears aren’t for him, though. They are for dashed dreams, the realisation that he didn’t feel what I thought he did, and the feeling that I’ve been a fool. They are for me. And *I* am worth my tears.

I cry for feeling like a fool.

I cry for trusting someone who maybe wasn’t worthy of it.

I cry for dreams and plans that will not come to pass.

I cry because old wounds are torn again.

I cry because someone whose presence added to my life has pulled out of it.

I cry.