Here are some cartoons about dating from one of my favourite cartoons, Savage Chickens.
We all need a little giggle at this strange strange world of dating…
This is one of my favourites 🙂
The New York Times recently ran an article about “ghosting” in a relationship – aka rather than having a closing conversation, one person “ghosts” the other, simply fading away and ignoring any contact by the other party.
“Ghosting” is the same idea as “if he’s not calling/texing, he’s just not into you,” which I hate. I think it’s a pathetic excuse for men to act like assholes.
The NYT also ran a follow-up article of responses to the first. It was interesting to read a response from someone who described a friend – not a partner – doing the fade.
Personally, I think if you’ve passed the 3-to-5-date mark, SOME sort of closure is required. Even when I meet someone online and we have a first “meeting” in real life (doesn’t even have to be a date), I think a simple, “Thanks for meeting. I don’t think we have much in common. I wish you all the best,” or some such afterwards is just plain polite, although it’s not always 100% necessary, and “ghosting” isn’t so bad after just one meeting – sometimes they just naturally fade out of your memory and you simply forget to send a closing message.
From the responses in the NYT article, I do agree that in a few circumstances ghosting is necessary. If someone isn’t getting the hint that things are over and continues contact, especially toxic contact, then ignoring them is the best policy, but that is only after you’ve had the “It’s over” conversation and left them in no doubt you don’t want further contact. It’s just cruel to leave someone with hope if there isn’t any.
I would much rather have a guy tell me why he was ending it, especially when it comes out of nowhere (D, I’m talking to you). I would much rather a guy break up with me by telling me, “I think you’re a boring bitch. You farted in your sleep and I never want to see you again”. It would hurt, sure, but most break-ups hurt. At least this way I’d be clear on where we both stand, and I’d be able to accept it and move on much easier than if I were left over-thinking things and trying to figure out what went wrong.
How about you?
So, I mentioned in my last post that I’m an over-thinker, which you probably gathered if you’ve read any of my other posts.
A friend posted this link [14 things only over-thinkers will understand] on Facebook the other day, and I got to #2 and went TRUTH!
Some of these apply more to me than others. For example:
#6 is not so true for me… Online dating and being deleted left right and centre will cure your need to over-think a deletion (except in very special cases).
#10 – SO OBVIOUSLY ME! It’s like my brain is writing a choose-your-own adventure.
How about you? Are you an over-thinker? Do you think you’re dating an over-thinking and would like some insight? Leave a comment!