One of my pet peeves when online dating is when you are asked for a pic right off the bat. On one site I’m on, my pictures are set to private so I ‘open’ them only to specific contacts. My previous modus operandi when someone asked to see my pics within the first few lines of introductory conversation was to shrug and do it. Then I changed tactics and preferred to chat a little first, especially if someone hadn’t written much on their profile. I don’t really know which works better – I’ve had people delete me right away trying both tactics, so I now go with my gut on a case-by-case basis and when in doubt try to chat first. I’m looking for something deeper than looks (and for someone who is also looking deeper than looks), after all, and while physical attraction is a must, it can develop with time.
Take this guy. His profile was well-written and reasonably interesting, and although I wasn’t attracted to his pic, I accepted his request. He seemed to have a little more depth than some people you find online, but that impression ended up being a touch incorrect. This was the end of our conversation (there was only about 5 or 6 lines above this. Names and most of his face cropped for privacy. And sorry for my poor screenshot alignment…).
The ‘busty’ comment refers to one line I have in my profile (which I wrote some time ago, so it took me a moment to make the connection) which says something along the lines of ‘If you like girls who have double D boobs and wear make-up 20 hours a day, I’m not the one for you’. I wasn’t sure whether he was kidding about being ‘dumped’ or not, but it sure wasn’t endearing.
I am perfectly comfortable with who I am and what I look like (no Kate Moss, but I can turn heads on occasion) and have no issues with the fact that I won’t be everyone’s ‘type’. My theory is that it’s better to weed out who you can as early as possible when online dating. If someone is hung up on big boobs, I don’t want them wasting my time.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that someone will actually read your profile before sending you a contact request…
So, what’s your theory? Unlock pics when asked or chat first?