On the weekend, just for fun, I picked up one of those “relationship” books at the library (why would I spend good money on these books when I can borrow them for free?).
This book, Manslations by Jeff Mac was actually kind of funny. Very easy to read with some good tips and insights. Personally, I don’t like generalisations, and this book basically boiled all men down to a few dot points. I may be wrong, but I believe human beings, including men, are a little more complicated and nuanced than that. Still, I’ll take the information on board and accept that Jeff probably knows a bit more about the male mind than I do (as he is male and has such a mind and I am not and do not). Some of the information I already knew, and some was new.
One section in particular caught my attention.
On page 179, Jeff explains about the Anger Smokescreen, and I immediately thought of M (read his story here). Jeff tells a story of a woman who caught her man cheating and when she confronted him, he started getting angry at her. Jeff writes:
You catch him doing something wrong; you have all the evidence; and yet he flips out as if you’re the one being outrageous. He’s banking on you not being confident enough to defend your point in the face of furious anger.
See? EXACTLY like M when I confronted him. I did not continue to engage him with the anger, so no doubt in M’s mind he ‘beat’ me in that argument, but who gives a shit? I let it go because I saw him for what he was and knew he wasn’t worth another word – he would never have admitted wrong and no doubt would only have continued to try to make ME feel bad for what HE did. Arse.
If you are single and baffled by male behaviour, I do recommend this book. It reiterates points in other books like He’s Just Not Into You, but give it a shot, anyway. Let me know if any part stood out for you.