This article http://www.thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2014/10/20-things-you-should-know-about-dating-an-independent-girl (20 things you should know about dating an independent girl) rang a few bells with me. The longer you are single, the more independent you become, out of necessity if nothing else. This CAN make dating more difficult, for independent men as well as independent women.
Most single women in their 30s and up are pretty independent. Are they single because they are independent, or are they increasingly independent because they are single? It’s a bit of a chicken-egg question.
A lot of guys I’ve had experience with don’t really know what to do with strong independent women. I’m certainly not the strongest or most independent woman, but I’m also no weeping kitten.
#18 on the list rang especially true with an experience I had just last week.
I’d met a guy on eHarmony. I’m not about to pay any of these sites money, so I’d taken advantage of a free communication weekend (usually you have to pay to chat. Even on free weekends you have to pay to see photos, which I still wasn’t going to do). Anyway, Z and I sort of hit it off. Sort of. As the free communication period came to an end I told him my profile name on another free dating site (which he said he wasn’t going to sign up for) and we exchanged phone numbers. I wasn’t jumping out of my skin to meet him, but I wanted to keep in touch.
We had one very short exchange over text message and then a few days later he called. I missed it and only got the voice mail as I was going to bed. The next afternoon I replied, “Sorry I missed your call and for the late reply. Been a busy day.”
He replied, “I was devastated! Tough day huh?”
“No, I actually have the week off.”
“Now that’s rough…week off & you ignore me.” [Since when is replying the next day and apologising for a late reply ignoring someone?]
“I’m not ignoring you,” I wrote. I was chatting to him then and there, wasn’t I? I brushd it off as just his way of teasing, but he didn’t respond, so I left it. I actually did have a busy week – I had time off work for a family medical emergency. I wasn’t about to go into that with Z, though. It was none of his business. We’d only been chatting a week.
A few hours later he wrote, “I’m feeling neglected.”
WHAT!?!?! All I’d done so far was not reply to a call until the next day. Was he a needy 13 year old girl? I DEFINITELY wasn’t going to respond to that!
With everything going on, chatting to a relative stranger was not high on my list of priorities and I actually forgot about him for a few days.
About a week after the ‘neglected’ message we continued the exchange with him once again bringing up ‘being ignored’:
Again, I didn’t hear anything further from him, and honestly didn’t care.
Then I won movie tickets (to see Gone Girl – great flick, by the way!) and as I was considering who to ask, he came to mind. My instinct was no! – sure, on one hand, this could be a ‘start off on the right foot’ sort of date. On the other hand, I really wasn’t keen on him anymore. Should I give him a chance or not?
(GF means the footy grand final, btw)
Oh well. Another one bites the dust!
So, anyway, back to the article at the top of this post – are you an independent woman? Are you a man who has dated an independent woman and found any of these 20 things to be true?
Have any of your girls out there had experience with a needy male?