When online dating there is (hopefully) the inevitable point of meeting for the first time in person.
I long ago stopped attributing much meaning to this, mainly because there is one outcome that happens more often than not.
This outcome is that you meet, and then they delete you without saying anything.
This happened again the other night.
When I accepted this guy’s contact request, he was instantly enthusiastic, asking almost immediately when we could meet. It was great! He liked my profile and wanted to meet. Excellent! No wasting time with this guy!
So after only a few days, we met for coffee. I thought things went fairly well. Certainly, I’ve had worst ‘first meetings’. There was no instant spark or butterflies or anything, but he was nice. We parted with a peck on the cheek and a hug, and I thought I wouldn’t say no to seeing him again.
The next day I sent him a message following up on the conversation (he had to work on Sat and wasn’t that keen on it, so I asked how his day had gone).
He didn’t reply, and the next time I saw him online on the dating site, he didn’t start chatting. I left it, and the next time I logged on, he’d deleted me.
As I said, this happens A LOT. When I first started online dating, it would come as a bit of a blow. Now I just shrug and chat to someone else.
Still, there is a noticeable lack of etiquette online. When you meet someone in person, you get to see if you are actually interested in them. You may have a great conversation with them online, but when it comes to meeting in person there is a total disconnect. It happens. It’s not a bad thing.
What is bad is how rude people are. You aren’t interested, that’s fine. Nothing wrong with it. I am quite comfortable with the fact that not everyone I meet is going to like me (I certainly don’t want to see everyone I meet again). But it’s polite to at least acknowledge the other person. It doesn’t take much to write a short message along the lines of “It was nice meeting you, but I don’t really see anything happening between us.” Unless he (or she) was a total pig who spilled his coffee on you and insulted your mother, a simple “Thanks, good luck with things” is just plain civilised.