Sex and Relationships – Too Much Trouble

This article [Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?] actually doesn’t surprise me.  While Japan has a very different culture and heritage to the Western (American/Australian/English) culture, there are a lot of issues raised in the article that we have in common.

It doesn’t take a sociologist to know that thoughts and practices surrounding relationships, sex, and marriage have changed dramatically since the mid 1900s, and even since the late 1990s.  Life has simply become more complex in every area.  Job stability and expectations have changed.  Women no longer need to marry in order to survive.  Even the expectation for women to have kids is slowly changing (although a negative stigma persists for women who are choosing NOT to have children – as this funny article illustrates [Silly things people have said to me when I tell them I’m not having kids]).

We all know the sayings about ‘completing’ one another – like two jigsaw pieces.  I think as you get older, your jigsaw piece gets more complex curves and it’s harder to find someone who ‘fits’.

There are so many factors which contribute to finding someone ‘compatible’ that getting into a relationship sometimes seems impossible.  I don’t think it’s that people don’t WANT to be in a relationship, but finding someone who fits into your life takes effort – sometimes more effort than it’s worth in the end.

Even one-night-stand sex is more effort than it’s worth.  Sure, it’s an itch that needs scratching, but It’s an effort to get dressed up, go out, find someone you are attracted to, chat and flirt with them to get some sparks happening, get enough spark that your libido kicks into drive and lust starts coursing through your veins, get enough lust that you WANT them…. and 9 times out of 10 one or both of you have had too much to drink to make the experience satisfying.  If you leave the itch alone long enough, it actually goes away and you no longer feel it.  Then it takes effort and someone special for the itch to just come back (although the itch is a rather fickle and unpredictable thing).

I’d worry if you ‘despised sexual contact’, as some women supposedly reported in the article about Japan (although it depends on what they mean by ‘sexual contact’ – if it’s coming from the dickwad that rides your bus, I’d despise it, too), but I can completely relate to those who just ‘can’t be bothered.’

How about you?


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