A Pinch And A Punch

A fair few years ago (going on a decade), I learned a few important lessons:
1) Don’t trust every ex, no matter how amicable you’ve been since things ended.
2) Never mix exes and money.
3) When I get punched in the face, I have quick reflexes.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming ūüėČ

Ok, so here’s the story.

A few years ago I asked an ex for a favour. ¬†I¬†thought we were still friends, and asked him to look after my plants while I was out of town for a while, which he readily agreed to. ¬†I also had a bill coming up that I couldn’t pre-pay and I’d get back too late and would get a late penalty on it, so I asked him if he’d mind paying it, stressing that if he didn’t want to, it wasn’t a problem; I’d ask someone else. ¬†He said it was fine, so I left him with a bit of money and instructions for paying it.

(I should add here that he lived quite close to me, and he had the same bill to pay, so it shouldn’t have been a problem).

When I returned, I found out that he had not, in fact, paid the bill. Not great, but oh well. Nothing I could do about it.

But he owed me my money back.

The trouble started when I asked, and he “didn’t have it right now.” ¬†Uh huh. ¬†So, you spent my bill money? ¬†Muttering ‘Asshole’ under my breath, I gave him a fortnight, then got on his back about it. ¬†Still, he refused to pay it back.

I was livid. ¬†When I saw him in a pub another two weeks later, I walked straight up to him and said “If you have money to be here, you have money to pay me back. ¬†Now.”
He was pissed. I didn’t care.
“Not now,” he said. Bull.
“No. When are you going to pay me back?”
“Not now. I’m not in the mood,” he retorted testily. He paused and added, “I’ll hit you.”
I scoffed, “Really?!”
I wasn’t really surprised when he drew his fist back. I thought he’d do one of those swing-and-stop-short things.
I only had a nanosecond to realise he was not stopping, and to roll my head to the side so I caught his fist as a glancing blow to my cheek rather than full on. His punch wasn’t hard, but it was enough to knock me off balance.

My reaction was pure instinct.

I stepped back and swung a right hook at his face (I honestly cannot recall if I connected or not), grabbed the front of his shirt with my left hand, pulled him forward, and brought my right arm up to bring an elbow down on the back of his neck. I caught my momentum so I only connected with a tap (I didn’t want to fully maim him), and pushed him away.

Before I could think further, the bouncer was there kicking him out. I picked up my phone from where it had fallen when he’d hit me and went back to my friends.

The whole thing had happened so fast, they’d barely registered I’d left the table.

I actually never saw him again, and I never did get my money back. But it’s ok, because it was worth it to see him get kicked out of a bar for fighting (and with a woman, too!)

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